Out of Stupidity Comes Genius

Yeah, yeah, I know that's not how the saying goes (re: title of this entry), but I had a series of very stupid moments in the kitchen today that led to - well, let's not say genius quite yet - one shining moment of tastiness.

The story about making Oreo truffles started off harmless enough. Around Christmas, a photographer friend sent me homemade Oreo truffles as a thank-you gift for giving her a list of places to shoot in Atlanta (that's "shoot" in the photographer sense, not in the put-a-cap-in-your-bum sense). They are lovely little things - crushed Oreos and cream cheese formed into balls and dipped into melted white chocolate. My husband and I inhaled them, and I begged my friend for the recipe. In her email, she modestly said, "I don't know if you'll think they're so great once you know how easy they are to make."

Ahem.

This is what brings me to my entry today, with a very valuable lesson learned - just because your friend (and according to the reviews for the same recipe on AllRecipes.com, 300-plus other people...) can make something, doesn't mean you can.

The first part was easy - blitz a package of Oreos in the food processor with a package of softened cream cheese, form into balls and chill for 15-20 minutes. Then melt white chocolate chips over a double boiler and dip the balls into the melted chocolate with a toothpick. Seems easy enough, right?

Well, perhaps for the candy-making inclined. Today I learned I do not fall into this elite group of people.

To make things even easier on myself (in hindsight, HA!), I made the first part the week before and froze them, thinking all I had to do today was melt the chocolate and dip them into it. I melted the chocolate as directed, but it dried out quickly, forming these little hard lumps instead of the smooth, glossy chocolate of my dreams. I added a little evaporated milk to it in lieu of cream, something I have seen on countless cooking shows, which made the situation just gross-looking: a beige, sticky mess with what looked like white chocolate boulders in it. I tried dipping the truffles into this unappetizing mess anyway. The chocolate slid right off the truffle and pooled around the bottom when I set them on parchment paper. At that point I emailed my friend who gave me the recipe, and she advised me to let the chocolate cool some before I tried dipping them. Wrong. The chocolate then was so thick that it pulled some of the Oreo part into the mix.

At this point, I went back to the grocery store and purchased two more bags of white chocolate chips. At home again, I started over. Perfection! Two perfectly dipped, wonderfully appetizing truffles. Then the chocolate dried out again. Sigh. After a quick Google search for why this was happening (my double boiler leaked a DROP of water into this oh-so-sensitive chocolate), the remedy was to add a tablespoon and a half of vegetable oil for every four ounces of chocolate. This meant I had nine tablespoons of oil to add. When the chocolate was melted again, it was still way too thick to stay on the truffles. (And I also sort of wanted to burn my kitchen down at this point, or at least pitch a fit.)

I should probably interject that I was making these truffles for an engagement party I'm helping host tonight, and they had to be good. In my circle, I'm known for hosting, baking and cooking, so God forbid Suzy KitchenAid show up to this party with totally unappetizing food.

I don't know if it was an act of desperation or just wanting to see the end of these ill-fated truffles, but on a whim I dumped all of the undipped truffles and dipped ones into my food processor with a softened half-block of cream cheese that I had in the fridge, whirred it around and... well, this is the dessert that came out of it. It's not as cute or kitschy as truffles, but by God, it is delicious.

Now I'm exhausted. I think it's all the brain cells I used up while making this. I suppose it happens to all geniuses...

Oreo Truffle Bars
Ingredients:
* 1 16-oz. package Oreos or cream-filled chocolate cookies
* 1 tablespoon brewed coffee (optional)
* 2 8-oz. packages cream cheese, softened
* 2 packages white chocolate chips (I prefer Ghirardelli, melted
* 1 bar good-quality dark chocolate, melted

Directions:
Spray a 9x13 baking dish with cooking spray. In a food processor, grind the Oreos until they're small crumbs. Add two packages softened cream cheese and coffee if using and pulse until the mixture forms a dough. Spread the mixture out in the baking dish. In a microwave-safe bowl at 20-second intervals, melt the white chocolate chips and spread over the Oreo mixture. In a separate bowl, melt the dark chocolate and drizzle over with a spoon. Chill for two hours, cut into small bars (it's quite rich) and serve.

It’s Butter and Biscuits, and I Helped!

I can make my own butter, and I’ve done it a few times – only because I was out of butter at the time and happened to have cream on hand. Each time I make my own butter for a recipe, I want to shout out to everyone, “YOU KNOW THE BUTTER IN THERE IS HOMEMADE!?” but then I also feel sort of ashamed, like they won’t believe that I created not only the dish, but an actual ingredient for it. It’s such a tough situation. Sigh…

But then again, y’all, making butter is really the easiest thing in the world (well, next to making granola. See previous post.)… if you have a KitchenAid mixer. (If all you have is cream, a really large jar and weak biceps, I don’t envy you.) Just pour cream in (however much you have/need/want) the bowl of the mixer, and, using the whisk attachment, turn the mixer on 8 or 10, as high as it will go. Let it whirl around for about 10 minutes, until the solids turn pale yellow and separate from the liquid. Let the cream pass the whipped cream stage. Once it starts to look like a very liquid ricotta cheese (i.e., the solids separate from the liquid), turn the mixer off, and pour the mixture into a bowl lined with a clean kitchen towel. Gather the ends of the kitchen towel and squeeze out the liquid, and then open the towel. What’s left is pure, unsalted, delicious homemade butter – complete with a cool kitchen-towel pattern.

This morning for my work’s weekly potluck breakfast, I made garlic and cheddar biscuits with country ham and used that lovely homemade butter. Feel free to just slather it on good bread; my farmers market has pecan bread that would serve as a perfect butter vehicle. Or, use a store bought butter – either way, the biscuits below were gone from my weekly potluck in 30 minutes. I’d like to think it was the homemade butter that put them over the top.

Garlic and Cheddar Cream Biscuits with Country Ham Filling

Ingredients:
- 1 ½ c. whipping cream
- 2 cups self-rising flour
- 1 c. grated sharp cheddar
- ¼ tsp. garlic powder
- 3 Tbsp. butter
- 1 ½ c. ground country ham

Directions:
For the biscuits: Preheat oven to 500 degrees F. Combine whipping cream, flour, cheddar and garlic powder in a bowl until mixture forms a dough. Pour mixture out on a floured surface and knead a few times, patting the dough out to a 1-inch thickness. Cut 8-10 biscuits out with a 2-inch round cookie cutter, combining the scraps and patting out the dough again if necessary. Place biscuits on a cookie sheet two inches apart, lined with a silicone mat or parchment paper, brush the tops with melted butter and bake for 6-7 minutes.

For ham filling: Combine the ham and butter in a food processor and pulse until combined. Check ham package to make sure ham is cooked – if it’s not, fry the butter and ham mixture until lightly browned, 3-5 minutes.

Cut the warm biscuits in half and fill each with about a tablespoon of the ham filling. Makes 8-10 ham biscuits.

M-M-M-Myyyyyy Granola!

Let's temporarily (read: permanently) forget how I haven't updated this blog in, oh, eight or nine months. Instead, let's talk about m-m-m-myyyyy granola (sung to the sound of "My Sherona," in case you couldn't tell).

Since my husband and I started watching Suze Orman religiously over the winter, we've really buckled down to boost our emergency fund. In other words, we've been very frugal the first part of the year and have saved a significant amount of money. When we sat down to budget, I knew right away where my problem area would be. Say it with me... "Food!" So I sort of became obsessed (but in a pleasant way) with green- and frugal-living blogs, such as Our Little Apartment, Cheap, Healthy, Good and WiseBread. The writer at Our Little Apartment is pregnant and blogs mostly about that these days, but still, every now and then she encourages me to venture out and make something homemade that formerly intimidated me.

Such was the case with granola... a few months ago. Now, having made it a million times, I can't believe I was ever intimidated by it. It is, seriously, the easiest recipe ever. You just dump a lot of ingredients in a bowl, stir it, spread it out on cookie sheets and... well, it's all in the recipe below. :) What was NOT easy was tweaking the recipe to make it taste similar to Cascadian Farms Dark Chocolate Almond Granola, otherwise known as My Favorite Granola Ever. I must have read the ingredients on the back of it a million times (Cane juice? Is that even available to me? Or do I have to somehow hack down a sugar cane and extract its juice...?) before I finally found the secret to its goodness tonight - pure almond extract.

So now, armed with the granola recipe that may just be my keeper recipe, I share with you my version of Dark Chocolate Almond Granola, which is cheaper and has less fat than Cascadian Farms' recipe.

Dark Chocolate Almond Granola

Ingredients:
- 4 1/2 c. rolled oats
- 1/2 c. flax seeds
- 1 c. slivered almonds
- 1/2 c. good dark chocolate chips, or chopped dark chocolate
- 1 c. unsweetened coconut flakes, optional
- 1 tsp. salt
- 3/4 c. brown sugar
- 1/4 c. good maple syrup
- 2 Tbsp. olive oil or canola oil
- 3/4 c. unsweetened applesauce
- 1 tsp. vanilla extract
- 1/2 tsp. pure almond extract (not imitation)
- Dash cinnamon
- Dash nutmeg

Directions:
Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl. Spread mixture out on two large cookie sheets lined with parchment paper or silicone mats. Bake for 20 minutes and stir, bringing the granola from the outer edges in and vice versa. Bake for an additional 20 minutes. Let it sit in the cookie sheets on the counter for at least 10 minutes, allowing it time to crisp more. After it cools, store it in an airtight container for up to three weeks --- though it probably won't last that long. It never seems to last long in my house. Enjoy with milk, in yogurt or over sliced bananas.

* Photo courtesy of Wikipedia Commons; (c) David Corby

It's Picadillo, Yo

Never in my life would I have thought the combination of ground beef, raisins and green olives would be so delicious... until I met my friend Barbara, who introduced me to picadillo, which is kind of like the Cuban version of spaghetti (except it doesn't have noodles).

Her version calls for sofrito, a speciality mix of herbs, garlic, onions and green peppers, that she brought back from her trips to Orlando or Miami. The enormous bucket of it would last forever in its brightly green glory in my refrigerator... until once when my mother thought it was that green color from mold, and then threw it away.

Harumph.

So, since the grocery store version of sofrito is red and more acidic - and since I can't travel to Orlando every time I want to make picadillo - a simple saute' of onions, garlic, green bell peppers and a splash of olive brine or white wine vinegar will do. You could use Recaita, the green stuff found next to the Sofrito on the grocery store shelf, but I prefer the fresh mix as opposed to the jarred version.

I am still surprised that no store in Atlanta carries this mixture, but I keep looking for it. If anyone knows of a farmers market that does carry it, please let me know. In the meantime, enjoy the delightful mix of savory and sweet in picadillo, which you can throw together in less than half an hour. I serve it over white rice, but you could easily use it as a filling for tacos, empanadas, enchiladas, bell peppers or over crusty bread.

Picadillo

Ingredients:
- 1 lb. ground beef, 80-90 percent lean
- 1 medium onion, chopped
- 1 seeded and diced green bell pepper
- 2-3 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 large russet potato, peeled and diced into small pieces (optional)
- 1 8 oz. can tomato sauce
- Olive brine to taste
- 1 bay leaf
- 10-15 pimento-stuffed green olives, cut in half
- 1/3 cup raisins
- 1 tsp. dried oregano or 1 Tbsp. fresh oregano
- Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
In a skillet over medium heat, brown the ground beef, onion, green pepper and garlic. Drain off excess fat and add potatoes, if using. Toss to combine. Add tomato sauce, olive brine, bay leaf and bring to a simmer. Add olives, raisins and oregano. Cover and simmer over medium low heat for 20 minutes, until potatoes are tender. Add salt and pepper to taste, and serve over steamed white rice. If you are using the mixture as an empanada, enchilada or bell pepper stuffing, continue to simmer over medium low heat until most the of the liquid has evaporated.