Yeah, yeah, I know that's not how the saying goes (re: title of this entry), but I had a series of very stupid moments in the kitchen today that led to - well, let's not say genius quite yet - one shining moment of tastiness.
The story about making Oreo truffles started off harmless enough. Around Christmas, a photographer friend sent me homemade Oreo truffles as a thank-you gift for giving her a list of places to shoot in Atlanta (that's "shoot" in the photographer sense, not in the put-a-cap-in-your-bum sense). They are lovely little things - crushed Oreos and cream cheese formed into balls and dipped into melted white chocolate. My husband and I inhaled them, and I begged my friend for the recipe. In her email, she modestly said, "I don't know if you'll think they're so great once you know how easy they are to make."
Ahem.
This is what brings me to my entry today, with a very valuable lesson learned - just because your friend (and according to the reviews for the same recipe on AllRecipes.com, 300-plus other people...) can make something, doesn't mean you can.
The first part was easy - blitz a package of Oreos in the food processor with a package of softened cream cheese, form into balls and chill for 15-20 minutes. Then melt white chocolate chips over a double boiler and dip the balls into the melted chocolate with a toothpick. Seems easy enough, right?
Well, perhaps for the candy-making inclined. Today I learned I do not fall into this elite group of people.
To make things even easier on myself (in hindsight, HA!), I made the first part the week before and froze them, thinking all I had to do today was melt the chocolate and dip them into it. I melted the chocolate as directed, but it dried out quickly, forming these little hard lumps instead of the smooth, glossy chocolate of my dreams. I added a little evaporated milk to it in lieu of cream, something I have seen on countless cooking shows, which made the situation just gross-looking: a beige, sticky mess with what looked like white chocolate boulders in it. I tried dipping the truffles into this unappetizing mess anyway. The chocolate slid right off the truffle and pooled around the bottom when I set them on parchment paper. At that point I emailed my friend who gave me the recipe, and she advised me to let the chocolate cool some before I tried dipping them. Wrong. The chocolate then was so thick that it pulled some of the Oreo part into the mix.
At this point, I went back to the grocery store and purchased two more bags of white chocolate chips. At home again, I started over. Perfection! Two perfectly dipped, wonderfully appetizing truffles. Then the chocolate dried out again. Sigh. After a quick Google search for why this was happening (my double boiler leaked a DROP of water into this oh-so-sensitive chocolate), the remedy was to add a tablespoon and a half of vegetable oil for every four ounces of chocolate. This meant I had nine tablespoons of oil to add. When the chocolate was melted again, it was still way too thick to stay on the truffles. (And I also sort of wanted to burn my kitchen down at this point, or at least pitch a fit.)
I should probably interject that I was making these truffles for an engagement party I'm helping host tonight, and they had to be good. In my circle, I'm known for hosting, baking and cooking, so God forbid Suzy KitchenAid show up to this party with totally unappetizing food.
I don't know if it was an act of desperation or just wanting to see the end of these ill-fated truffles, but on a whim I dumped all of the undipped truffles and dipped ones into my food processor with a softened half-block of cream cheese that I had in the fridge, whirred it around and... well, this is the dessert that came out of it. It's not as cute or kitschy as truffles, but by God, it is delicious.
Now I'm exhausted. I think it's all the brain cells I used up while making this. I suppose it happens to all geniuses...
Oreo Truffle Bars
Ingredients:
* 1 16-oz. package Oreos or cream-filled chocolate cookies
* 1 tablespoon brewed coffee (optional)
* 2 8-oz. packages cream cheese, softened
* 2 packages white chocolate chips (I prefer Ghirardelli, melted
* 1 bar good-quality dark chocolate, melted
Directions:
Spray a 9x13 baking dish with cooking spray. In a food processor, grind the Oreos until they're small crumbs. Add two packages softened cream cheese and coffee if using and pulse until the mixture forms a dough. Spread the mixture out in the baking dish. In a microwave-safe bowl at 20-second intervals, melt the white chocolate chips and spread over the Oreo mixture. In a separate bowl, melt the dark chocolate and drizzle over with a spoon. Chill for two hours, cut into small bars (it's quite rich) and serve.
